One thing that I find irresistibly cute about women is when, regardless of their age, they get together and turn into 12 year old girls gossiping spiritedly or exchanging views about how hot men are...I don't know, call me weird, I think it's cute in a funny sort of way.
So there I was last week sitting with 3 girls watching Dark Knight and kinda feeling like the gay guy in Sex in the City....but with 3 girls at a movie none-the-less....(don't hate)...... the previews start and so does the chit chat....first the bald dude from The Transporter Jason Statham flasher accross the screen....my friend next to me freaks out in her seat and starts jabbering at 500wpm about how hot Jason Statham is.....and right there in the midst of the previews and in hushed tones, these girls go from talking about Jason Statham to Vin Diesel (of course), to Leonardo DiCaprio, to Johnny Depp, and of course the late Heath Ledger, in a somber excitement about today's feature film.
As if somehow trying to be courteous and almost as if she wanted to make sure that I was not felt left out in some fashion or another my "BFF" turns to me and says (somewhat politically correctly).... "....so.....how about you? what girls do you think are hot" OMG, I almost laughed out loud quite literally, she rocks!... it was part hillarious, partly very sweet for wanting to include me in the conversation that I would contribute absolutely NOTHING to, but partly caught me off guard....
I sat there and started having fun with the question of course, knowing how disgusted and what great reactions I would get from throwing names such as Pamela Anderson or Carmen Electra, or even Jenna Jameson to my friend....sure enough.... I think it was, and I quote... Ewwww.....skank!" ..... I love it!
After that, I reassured my friend that I was just kidding and I sat there and tried to answer her question.....but it was tougher than I imagined it would be....I mustered up a couple of ideas....like Renee Zeilweigger (spelling?) or Kira Knightley...but even in that, I kinda wasn't convinced myself...and so I had to pry myself from my thoughts to make sure that I did'nt miss anything from the new Batman in trying to figure out who I thought was hot....I realized that I don't ponder such things often....and so it bothered me enough to keep thinking about it in the back of my head for about an hour into the movie......here are my thoughts on some "hot" women....
I have to start with the obligatory.....since most women default to Brad Pitt, I kinda have to start with his wife.....that's right the ...gelina... from Brangelina.....Angelina Jolie of course...ok...don't spit on me if you're a guy, don't roll your eyes if you're a chick.....she is of course a beautiful woman...doesn't do it for me. I don't know if it's because in my mind she'll forever be Gia which is the first movie I ever saw her in....but she was too much of a freak in that movie and I just can't get past it every time I see her......I see (and hear, ugh!) Gia....yes, big lips and all.
Cameron Diaz? no....Julia Roberts....gag, (issues) barf.... Jessica Alba? very hot...her face reminds me of my sister Karen and I end up thinking of my sister Jessica Alba...so nope. Denise Richards....at one point I was crazy about her....and then Charlie Sheen kinda messed it up for me....(he's nasty) so... everytime I thinkof her, I think of "them" and......nope.
Even singers...Jennifer Lopez....P Diddy's been there...nope. Jessica Simpson, again very, very, very pretty, doesn't do it for me....(sorry dudes)....Christina Aguilera, I think some people actually got genital warts from watching her video "Dirty".....no way. Britney Spears was hot for about 5 minutes in 97 when she was rocking the Catholic School Girl outfit.....sadly now all I can think about is her head shaved bald and.........nope.
Gwineth Paltrow.....I have a toothpick in front of my computer that I might as well find beautiful....no.
So who are the women who at least have potential of hotness in my opinion?short list....
Kira Knightly (spelling?).......Charlize Theron.....Renee Zellweger (who sometimes looks really cute, sometimes looks like a Mongolic....) Catherine Zeta-Jones....Juliana Moore...Michelle Pfeifer.
Bonafide HOT!? just ONE!...........Jennifer Love Hewitt.
Ok.....I know I'm already getting accussed of having terrible taste....how could I possibly have left Angelina and Jessica S. off my top lists right?.......listen, don't get me wrong......they are obviously very beautiful women.....I am not arguing that nor am I trying to be ignorant here....they just don't get my heart racing and my palms sweaty................um.........seriously, they don't......but I started wondering why this is.......why am I utterly unimpressed by these and most of what are concensus "smoking hot" women? I have a theory.
It's not that I don't appreciate a beautiful woman, after all I grew up watching Telemundo and Univision and my friends, do you want to see smoking hot women? surf the Spanish networks for 5 minutes......but it's more than that.....I really think that I get hung up on not being able to separate the storyline from the person......I actually used to think that Julia Roberts was hot and I stopped liking her when she stood Keifer Sutherland up at the altar (for all intents and purposes....) and then she goes and makes "Runaway Bride" to add insult to injury....over and over, Jessica with the Buffalo Wings, Britney and the shaved head....and etc. ;-)
I'm figuring out a lot about myself, about who I am becoming, and about who I've become here in my late 30s.....and I'm realizing that when it comes to my opinion of women (when I am in a situation of formulating an opinion of them) I automatically look beyond the skin.....for this, I'm grateful to whoever is responsible for that.....be it my upbringing or God.... don't get me wrong, I am a dude, and like last week, when the "hot" waitress walked by and Scott and I instinctively looked at each other and nodded in agreement, I will have my share of Shallow Hal moments.....but I guess it comes down to what inspires me in a woman....and it's not the outside.....not even close...I also notice this whenever a waitress tries to flirt a big tip out of me.....usually aside from the customary 15-20% depending on service, my biggest tip is...."try it on someone else love".
I guess I am inspired by the intangibles.....does that mean that I don't like pretty girls who take pride in their looks and upkeep? no of course not......I love it.....but it's those intangibles, like confidence, pleasantness, good sense of humor, and intelligence.....rocking out a good perfume is also a plus.
Again, keeping all of this in context with the whole "hot Hollywood" thing, yes I know, I'm pretty sure that Gwineth is not sweating what I think of her......that and she wasn't available to go see Journey with me on Aug. 2nd, but the principle is still there.....it's inspiration......a flawless figure, perfect skin, perfect hair, yawwwwwwnnnn! good for you..........can you tell me who sang the remake of LypSync's "Funkytown" in 1987? yes, PseudoEcho from Australia, and if you're a woman who guessed that right you're Jennifer Love Hewitt in my book....and you've inspired me...call me let's have coffee.
I'm at a point in my life where the biggest thing that any woman could ever contribute to my existence is inspiration, because I know me.......in my life inspiration leads to motivation, which will lead to me conquering this planet and sharing it with her......
At about the time that I turned to say "Jennifer Love Hewitt" as my reply to my friend's question about who I thought was hot, she was mumbling something to the other two girls about how hot Christian Bale was.....I just chuckled privately under my breath and turned back to the movie right at the scene where Bruce Wayne is walking into a party with three girls........ Sometimes it's fun to be Rudy.
