~Why is God messing with me??

I am starting to wonder if sometimes a town just aint big enough?...and if it isn't... is the country or the world ever big enough for some things...is it possible to outrun destiny? even when you want to be a man of principles and stay away from the forbidden fruit? what if the forbidden fruit runs into you at a gas station when your world is marching in a straight line between the hash marks?

What is a man suppossed to do? how do you silence your heart when it wants to beat a hole out of your chest...? how do you push the beads of sweat in your palms back into the pores of the skin...? How do you act normal around the one thing you've always wanted as much as you want your next breath? How do you capture a whirlwind in your mind? how do you do it so that the 4 minutes that it takes for her to fill up her gas tank can play in real time, real color, real audio and real 5-senses highdefinition inside your closed eyelids?

What do you do so that when she gives you that "I havent seen you in forever" hug you can freeze the fabric of time and you can feel her face brush against yours just enough to say with her heart "...this is just a little reminder to your heart of what I feel like..."

How can a man stop the world so that as his hands over lap themselves around her back he can hold her and squeeze her even tighter and then pull away to look her in the eyes and say, "I think about you 24 hours a day 7 days a week, and I have done so for the last 15 years!"...how do you back to normality when the last smile you see out of her is an extended look and smile in which she is making it 100% obvious that there is so much more she wants to say, so much unfinished bussiness to tend to...and what, that you own could you give, for a trascript of the best 10 seconds of her thoughts as she got back in the car and drove away...

How do you stop thinking about the forbidden fruit? how do you put your heart away and ignore it? if someone knows, please let me know. I really want to know.

~I am he...

I am the one going to the point of no return, the one with the superbowl shuffle...the one who watched the shuttle explode the first time...I am the one who took up for Ozzy when they accussed him of biting a bat...I learned to just say no, and then did...I watched in awe when A-Ha went from man to cartoon to man to cartoon...I had a crush on Daisy Duke and on every single Hee Haw girl except for Lulu...I saw when Alexis Carrington got her but kicked by Linda Evans...I owned several 8 tracks and thought I was cool...I am a child of the 80s...I am he...

I loved Van Halen and painted checkerboards on my Vans...I crisscrossed my shoelaces and got carpetburns from learning to break dance...I got pretty good and then it went away...only to come back when I am too old to try...I wore acid washed jeans and aviator sunglasses...I tied a bandana around my neck...I drove a Trans Am like The Bandit...I roller skated and camped out for tickets to see U2...I bought a CD and secretly preferred cassettes...

I did not start the fire...and held on to the nights...I liked it hot...and rang hells bells...I saved it till the morning after and I walked like an Egyptian...I lived on a prayer and took the highway to the danger zone...rocked in time and it was tricky...and I fought for my right to party... and I though I was cool...I am a child of the 80s...I am he...

I switched a channel by hand...I watched a movie in Betamax...I can show you how to change a needle on a record player...and how to properly care for vynil records...I collected garbage pail kids...and had a crush on Tiffany...I hated the new kids on the block because my girlfriend loved them...I secretly pulled for Argentina and told everyone I pulled for Britain during the Falkans war...I watched on my tv screen as Chernobyl blew up...and watched Mike Tyson's head hit the canvas for the first time...I am a child of the 80s...I am he.

I went back to the future...and took a day off like Ferris Beuler..(it did not go that well for me)...I quoted Airplane...and yes, I cried watching Ghost...I've said Beetlejuice 3 times and nothing happened...I watched The Smurfs and The Chipmunks...and even the Punky Brewster Cartoon...Chuck Norris was a hero...and Bo Derek was a goddess...I dreamed a little dream and busted ghosts...I wore a full metal jacket in the middle of my platoon...I drank Kool-Aid and Shasta...and did the Karate Kid Kick...I am a child of the 80s I am he...

I fell in love with a girl and never fell out...she was a child of the 80s...yeah that's still me.

~Have You Ever?

Isnt it cool to find yourself singing someone else's song but feel like it was written for you? I guess maybe there's a little comfort in knowing that you're not the only one who's ever felt a certain way...if you have i-Tunes...go get this song by Def Leppard...

HAVE YOU EVER?

Here I am, Im in the wrong bed again
Its a game I just cant win
There you are breathin soft on my skin, yeah
Still you wont let me in
So come on

Why save your kisses for a rainy day
Baby let the moment take your heart away

Have you ever needed someone so bad, yeah
Have you ever wanted someone you just couldnt have
Did you ever try so hard that your world just fell apart
Have you ever needed someone so bad
And youre the girl I gotta have
I gotta have you baby, yeah

There you go, midnight promises again, yeah
But theyre broken by the dawn
You wanna go further, faster everyday, baby
But in the morning youll be gone
And Im alone

Why save your kisses for a rainy day
Baby let the moment take your heart away

Have you ever needed someone so bad, yeah
Have you ever wanted someone you just couldnt have
Did you ever try so hard that your world just fell apart
Have you ever needed someone so bad

Every dream I dream is like
Some kinda rash n reckless scene
To give out such crazy love
You must be some kinda drug
And if my time dont ever come
For me youre still the one
Damned if I dont, damned if I do
I gotta get a fix on you

Have you ever needed someone so bad, yeah
Have you ever wanted someone you just couldnt have
Did you ever try so hard that your world just fell apart
Have you ever needed someone so bad, so bad
Have you ever wanted someone, have you ever wanted someone, yeah
Did you ever try so hard that your wourld just fell apart
Have you ever needed someone so bad
And youre the girl I gotta have
I gotta have you baby, yeah

Its a game I just cant win, oh

Have you ever needed someone so bad, yeah
Have you ever wanted someone
Have you ever wanted someone, you just couldnt have
Did you ever tried so hard, yeah