It was suppossed to happen 2 weeks ago....I was suppossed to come to Honduras to shoot footage and do interviews with a Pastor who's doing AMAZING work in quite possibly the worst neighborhood on the planet. Well, at almost the last minute, and because of a visa that I ended up not needing, my trip got posponed to .....well.....now. So here I sit in a hotel room in Tegucigalpa just thinking about the last 4 days......the trip started off with the landing in Tegucigalpa airport......now, I had been here once and I knew what the landing was like..........but I'd forgotten.....when the pilot comes on the intercom and says..."folks, the only approach into Tegucigalpa calls for us to perform a sharp turn during a sharp descent"......it's time to, well, at least pay close attention (and pray) :-)
I asked the airline attendant to let me move to the other side to an open window seat so that I could shoot it with my little still camera's video function.....as the 757 banked sharply to the left to then swing to the right TO make a very sharp left hand turn, some women in the rows behind me screamed really loud.....at this point I was shooting out my window and where the horizon would usually be 7 to 10 miles away I distinctively saw a yellow school bus and dogs.....and I would guestimate that at this point we were no more than 1200 feet above the ground....slightly higher (looking out of my SIDE window) I saw our RUNWAY!.....just as I thought "man he'd better turn sharp if he wants to get there...." he did just that! I felt the G forces tickle my forehead and I must admit that the faces of my kids flashed accross my eyes....well, as the plane landed we skimmed the side of the hill much like this video will show...(by the way I'll have the one I shot up pretty soon)
After surviving the landing, came the first of my challenges, I disembarked, (congratulated the pilot on my way out), went through immigration and customs in the quickest manner that I ever have in any country that I've ever been to period. When I came out of the secure area to the receiving zone I was in a world of people waiting for passengers in front of me and behind me...I stood there looking for someone holding a sign that said, "Landa" on it...nope. I waited, and waited, 20 minutes, 30, 45....nothing...as I walked over to the ATM to get local currency (Limpiras) so that I could just cab it to my hotel, they showed up....something about our plane landing early....miscommunication...whatever, who cares, they showed up...
The next couple of days have been a whirlwind, the first order of the following day was to actually get my own shots of the infamous airplane landing, my host (who knows this town inside and out) got us out into no-man's-land, and after climbing a couple of sand dunes we got into the perfect position and we got 3 jetliners as they circled Tegucigalpa and performed their U-turns and landed quite nicely...lesson learned.....Boeing Jetliners are a WHOLE lot more maneuverable than you think.
The bulk of my trip revolved around the work that a very brave pastor is doing in what I would consider the worst, vilest, unsafe, drug-infested, gang-controlled, mafia-owned neighborhood that I have ever heard or and DEFINITLEY ever been into...I have been to the favelas in Brazil...this is worse.
As we drove through the market which is a sort of "buffer zone" between Tegucigalpa and the "colony" of Chiverito, I stood in the bed of his pickup truck and shot from the back....market people, latin-american traffic, the market place...you see one, you'veseen them all...at one point he stopped, poked his head out and said, I think you should ride inside now....
Now, his little truck was almost specially made for the occassion, windows completely tinted and polarized, I could shoot from inside the truck without being seen from the outside...what I have seen over the last 3 days have "yet again" made me really, really, think about everything in my life...you see? it's so much more and so much deeper for me than simply "being thankful to live in America"...am I thankful? yes!! and then some!!!! but it's more....
I have come the realization that the reason why we're so spoiled, politically correct, and bankrupt, is because in The US we're living in a safe haven of fantasy...we are basically the Willy Wonka version of nations...in other words folks, the reality we see outside of our windows is NOT the real world...therefore everything that we think is the glue that holds our "world" in place is just as fake as the big room in which everything is edible...am I dissing America?? NO WAY!!! I'm yet more grateful...however, a few things to point out...
Much in the same way that I felt when I spent 3 weeks in Nicaragua, and certainly without meaning to be heartless or disrespectful to anyone...in America WE DO NOT KNOW REAL POVERTY!!! read it again, and again, and again...if you think I am lying to you then PLEASE put your stones down for a minute and purchase a ticket to Chiverito, Honduras or La Chureca, Nicaragua...here's the deal...in America we have the one thing that these countries DO NOT nor WILL have...HOPE.
The hopelessness of places like this one are'nt only measured by people with no money, and for that matter, even in homelessness...it's so much bigger...we complain about our government being corrupt??? sure there are instances of corruption.....we might even blame the fundamentals of leaders in corrupt motives, but CORRUPTION???? let me tell you about corruption.
There are only 2 classes of people here....rich and poor...the only question is, how poor? The government doesnt care about the poor, all levels of government are really set up behind closed doors after elections, and they appoint the leaders that they want, no hanging chads nor constitution to mess with.......the people vote, the politicians make deals amongst themselves, new leaders are elected....there is no running water for a large part of the population, and in large areas of populations they are still using latrines...when was the last time you heard of someone using one of those in the States? no running water, so they walk to a public faucet or (God forbid) the closest stream and just pick it up in plastic jugs....at certain times, they pick random hillsides, stake a claim and start putting up walls made of wood, with whatever they can muster up between landfills and refuse all togeter...they sometimes are able to save up to buy bricks and make real walls, but most of the time they use tin sheets for roofs...they turn into ovens in the summer when the tin keeps the house nice and HOT at temperatures topping 100 degrees.
If you have high aspirations your options are kind of limited, you can become a police officer, you will enjoy a lousy, lousy salary, BUT you will still make out ok because police officers only bust criminals to take their loot...they also are on the take from gang members who want for them to look the other way in their drug running, and drug cartels who are willing to let you (the police officer) live and not kill you and your family to not only look the other way but to come and rat out other officers in the unlikely event that they are planning to bust you....
On the other hand, if you don't feel like being a hypocrite, you can always become a drug dealer, or you can join a gang...in Tegucigalpa alone there are well over 250,000 gang members...MS-13 or MS-18 (archenemies)...f you are a young man ages between 14 and 18, pray that no gangmember recruiter sets his sights on you, or your options will be to join or die...they also threaten your family. The vast majority of the "soldiers" of these gangs are between the ages of 14-18...and they are the ones executing the "hits"
I was thinking today of all the luxuries that we as Americans have...the luxuries of DEMANDING that certain adjectives not be used to describe our particular races and genders...the luxury that we have of expecting for police officers to act morally....he luxury that we have of calling the police and having something called (LAUGH!) "response time"...here 80% of the time that a police unit is called, they either show up hours later ORNOT AT ALL...
Am I putting down those luxuries???? again....no!! I'm not...but I do encourage you to think of this...we'd better PRAY our hearts out, PRAY that America and the way of life in America NEVER becomes like the 80% of the rest of the world that America is NOT.......because the day it does my friends, you might have to take all of your luxuries and pawn them together for a gun to keep your children safe from the reality of the rest of the planet, do you have the stomach to do it??. Am I being an alarmist? no, I'm just a guy who's made sure 3 times in the last hour that I actually do have my passport to head home tomorrow...
So pastor Jorge (an ex-gang member himself) has a center to rehabilitate alcoholic men in Chiverito....now please understand, alcoholic men in Chiverito, are not the type that get drunk and have their productivity at work suffer.....nor do they get withdrawn from their wives and kids, they don't "come home late smelling of alcohol"...nope...they are the kind to pass out on the floor in the middle of the street at 3 pm and lose control of all bodily functions, and stay in those conditions, soiled in their own waste as it cakes up with the unpaved road and they get bleeding sores from their skin rubbing on the ground....bug bites all over them, and lice that make their way out of the head and onto facial hair and eyebrows....case in point, I videotaped 8 or 9 of them on the sidewalks in the middle of the afternoon...Pastor Jorge picks them up, takes them in, cleans them up, gets them dry (from alcohol) weathers out the withdrawal, they rehab their chemichal addictions and then they rehab their souls, then they teach them auto mechanics or carpentry so that they can come out and try to find decent work...he's rehabed well over 500 of them NOT ONE has ever ended up on the streets again!!...
The last stop of the day today was the food kitchen...as we pulled up to it, I actually caught a drug deal on tape...literally accross the sidewalk from the food kitchen....they feed over 80 children daily...kids whose dad is passed out on the sidewalk and where mom's making a few Limpiras in the world's oldest proffession...not only is he feeding their tummies, he's feeding their spirits...just as the Jesuits did 150 years ago, they are a mission house and they teach these kids about God before the gangs get into their heads...I was there today, I heard them sing....their little arms raised in their raggedy clothes, their little eyes closed as they sang....they were feeling every word that they sang....the entire time as I rolled tape furiously, I had a lump in my throat and I was pushing back tears...for all the darkness around them in this poor country, for all of the darkness of their neighborhood, of the gangs, the violence, the injustice and corruption....and like a single candle in the middle of a blackout...I saw hope in their faces.....I looked at them and saw my kids...suddenly I felt so far away and I wanted to hug them more than I ever have...I once again thought about the blessings of the life we live....I thanked God....and I prayed that at least once in their lives, every flag-burner and every spoiled brat who feels "entitled" to anything SOMEHOW AND SOMEWAY spends a day here...may I somehow in my life do something worthy of the blessings that my family and I have been given.
Well, here it is again, the end of yet another year, and for me it feels like it went by at record breaking speed. Like everyone else, espcially at my age now, I stop to take a quick look back at the year that just flew by and try to estimate if I am better off than I was last year at this time.....well, my feeling is that yes I am in fact better off than last year at this time, but in my situation SO MUCH better off than I was 2 years ago at this time. Two years ago I purposedly "forgot" to bring something that I had been asked to get from home to the New Year Party just so that I could run home and get it at midnight and avoid all of the hugging and cheer of New Year.......not so this year, I have been in the Christmas Spirit for several weeks, and have actually found myself really, really, into the Holidays more than I have in years!! my friends................the state of Rudy's life-outlook is strong! lol.....
Don't misunderstand me, I have a whole sleugh of chanllenges heading my way, I am starting a new full-time job in 2 weeks, I will be Mr. Mom (also full-time) in May, and I'm still trying to find the best way to move all of my junk from Miami back to Charlotte.....funny thing though, I am so excited about my plans for this new year, that I am looking past most of it (not ignoring it just dealing with it).
Every year, I find a secluded moment and try to weigh what my defining moment was in the previous year.....what stretched me the most? This year I would say that from a career point it was probably my political coverage for the network, man did I learn a lot....
what lesson I learned best? Also political, that you can build an entire mulitmillion dollar presidency campaign telling people that you will bring about change, then get in bed with a half a billion dollars worth of special interest money, appoint a cabinet chock full of the same old same old of DC and people still inhale the fumes of the promises that you're actually gonna bring change! wow....amazing.
what was my favorite or most embarrassing moment? Favorite, probably my work in the West Bank in May...most embarrassing would be having a 3 or 4 minute long conversation with a wrong number call......and that it took that long for me to realize that it was the wrong number!
In addition to all of the great friends in my life there are the new friends I made...so, so many, Edie and Taylor became so dear and essential to me, Dana and Patty Lanning friends from heaven! My eternal weakness, my Arab princess Sandy......and then there are the ones I knew but just got so much more endeared to like Donna and Scott Long, Tonia Oravec, Jen and David Petrino, Shashaw, and of course the scores of rediscovered friends through Facebook and MySpace......
what lesson I learned best? Also political, that you can build an entire mulitmillion dollar presidency campaign telling people that you will bring about change, then get in bed with a half a billion dollars worth of special interest money, appoint a cabinet chock full of the same old same old of DC and people still inhale the fumes of the promises that you're actually gonna bring change! wow....amazing.
what was my favorite or most embarrassing moment? Favorite, probably my work in the West Bank in May...most embarrassing would be having a 3 or 4 minute long conversation with a wrong number call......and that it took that long for me to realize that it was the wrong number!
In addition to all of the great friends in my life there are the new friends I made...so, so many, Edie and Taylor became so dear and essential to me, Dana and Patty Lanning friends from heaven! My eternal weakness, my Arab princess Sandy......and then there are the ones I knew but just got so much more endeared to like Donna and Scott Long, Tonia Oravec, Jen and David Petrino, Shashaw, and of course the scores of rediscovered friends through Facebook and MySpace......
This year however, I tried something different.....this year in addition to all of the wonderful blessings like the health and love of my children, I stuck my head into the dark side....this year I reached a little deeper into the uncomfortable part of my past.....this year I forced myself to visit for a little while the things in my life that I have lost.........I refuse to be melodramatic about this so I won't be, but I did this none-the-less.....I looked at the worst time of my life and asked myself...."what got me there?"
"What got me here".....it's human nature for us to defend ourselves....someone raises their hand, we block, someone throws a shoe we duck (KILL THEM WITH A "YOU INSIGNIFICANT SPECK OF SKIN WITH OPINIONS IN MY WORLD" GRIN) but you duck none the less, .....we defend ourselves.....why should blame be any different, so I chose some of the worst things that have ever happened to me in recent history and I asked the question, why!?
I gave myself to sit there and throw fault and excuses at everyone else.....personally I could argue that the faults that I threw were warranted, merrited, and that I could even have consensus from my friends......but in all honesty, I was looking for something deeper, and so I went there.......I asked myself a question that most people DO NOT want to face........."what were MY faults"....
You know? it's so easy to always focus on the things that others do to us, that we are almost incapable of really and honestly looking at our faults and working on ourselves so that we never end up in that place again...........can you imagine how different the landscape of the world would be if people stopped and said, "I know they did me wrong BUT......there were times that I was impossible......let me not worry about what others did not me for a little bit and let me ask myself if maybe I did not BRING OUT those things in others?".......
Honestly, it was a tough thing to do..........I did not exonerate some of the things that others did to me, because some of those things are pretty much messed up no matter how you slice it, but I'll be darn if I don't take the opportunity to learn from the things that I did wrong in the past......I will NOT be the idiot that has to learn the hard way more than once just because I was too proud to admit that I made mistakes, BIG mistakes......
When I emerged from my inner search, I had not solved all of my problems, I had not made a comprehensive list of all of the things that I needed to work on......but I felt that I accomplished something far more important.....I went through a new frontier and set up a small camp.......and now, I plan to visit that camp more often, little by litte, more and more comfortable there... analyzing how I can give my life, my world, and the lives of those who I love the most, the best fighting chance from my side of the relationship to peacefully co-exist and treat each other with love and dignity.
Even in my worst mistakes, I see the silver linings in that hopefully I've learned to build a much, much better future...........
As I leave Miami for Charlotte, I thank every friend who's read my blogs, every friend who's ever given me a call to just check up on me or say hi, sent a TXT message, sent me a MySpace or Facebook message with encouraging words.....I am blessed beyond measure to have you in my life....Merry Christmas, and a very happy New Year!!!!
"What got me here".....it's human nature for us to defend ourselves....someone raises their hand, we block, someone throws a shoe we duck (KILL THEM WITH A "YOU INSIGNIFICANT SPECK OF SKIN WITH OPINIONS IN MY WORLD" GRIN) but you duck none the less, .....we defend ourselves.....why should blame be any different, so I chose some of the worst things that have ever happened to me in recent history and I asked the question, why!?
I gave myself to sit there and throw fault and excuses at everyone else.....personally I could argue that the faults that I threw were warranted, merrited, and that I could even have consensus from my friends......but in all honesty, I was looking for something deeper, and so I went there.......I asked myself a question that most people DO NOT want to face........."what were MY faults"....
You know? it's so easy to always focus on the things that others do to us, that we are almost incapable of really and honestly looking at our faults and working on ourselves so that we never end up in that place again...........can you imagine how different the landscape of the world would be if people stopped and said, "I know they did me wrong BUT......there were times that I was impossible......let me not worry about what others did not me for a little bit and let me ask myself if maybe I did not BRING OUT those things in others?".......
Honestly, it was a tough thing to do..........I did not exonerate some of the things that others did to me, because some of those things are pretty much messed up no matter how you slice it, but I'll be darn if I don't take the opportunity to learn from the things that I did wrong in the past......I will NOT be the idiot that has to learn the hard way more than once just because I was too proud to admit that I made mistakes, BIG mistakes......
When I emerged from my inner search, I had not solved all of my problems, I had not made a comprehensive list of all of the things that I needed to work on......but I felt that I accomplished something far more important.....I went through a new frontier and set up a small camp.......and now, I plan to visit that camp more often, little by litte, more and more comfortable there... analyzing how I can give my life, my world, and the lives of those who I love the most, the best fighting chance from my side of the relationship to peacefully co-exist and treat each other with love and dignity.
Even in my worst mistakes, I see the silver linings in that hopefully I've learned to build a much, much better future...........
As I leave Miami for Charlotte, I thank every friend who's read my blogs, every friend who's ever given me a call to just check up on me or say hi, sent a TXT message, sent me a MySpace or Facebook message with encouraging words.....I am blessed beyond measure to have you in my life....Merry Christmas, and a very happy New Year!!!!
Why is that some of your most embarrassing moments involve phones?
hint: "are you gonna get that?"
LOL... I'm glad the wounds are starting to heal...just make sure you don't pick at the scabs too much.
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3 years ago- Reply(1)
3 years agoThanks for your sweet and encouraging words as usual!
Love you and Ralph and the kids a ton!!
3 years ago
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3 years agoYou continue to amaze me with your way of writing what so many others feel. You are a beautiful person, and have such a kind, giving, and gentle soul. Taylor and I are blessed to have you in our life. I am grateful for you & your friendship. I am so happy that you find yourself in the "spirit" this year. I remember last year I didn't even want to get out of bed, but I too find myself looking forward to the season this year. You keep your head, and know that you will do wonderful at your new job and how blessed your babies will be to have daddy all the time!
We love u...
the FUOG's
xoxoxoxox
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3 years ago- Reply
3 years ago