That which hurts the most....

So I've decided to blog retroactively and retrospectively in the hopes of finding inspiration for new music...I've realized lately that I used to write my best material when I was openly in touch with the things going on in my life....tragedy and triumph, happiness or pain, I used to write about it a lot.......so I've gone back to my old blog and I'm gonna post the thoughts of the past....this one was originally written May 23 of 2009..

That which hurts the most....

Current mood:pensive

It's been a while since I"ve blogged.....so much has happened since I last blogged.....I am just about to be done with the process of relocating myself as well as my kids to Charlotte and then expect for our lives to take on a new "normal"....

Without getting too descriptive and "open" about why this is relevant to me, suffice it to say that it made me get off my butt and blog about it.  WARNING: the video that I've posted is VERY graphic but it does set up the subject matter very well because it drives the point home.....in 2002 MY Miami Hurricanes were in the trenches of an all out war for their second in a row and 6th over all national championship in college football..... college football experts have said that almost unarguably this Miami Hurricane team was the best team that has ever taken the football field before.....the problem that night, was that they were facing what some also say was the best college defense ever in football....Ohio State....

Inside of two minutes Miami trailed by a small deficit and when Roscoe Parrish returned a kick for great yardage, Miami went to work on the ground....Willis McGahee who was expected to be the #1 pick in the NFL draft that year started pounding the ball up the middle....Miami was pushing the Buckeyes back....Miami was GOING to win....momentum was on their side.....Ohio State was on it's heels....the clock was on Miami's side....and in a moment tragedy struck.....

During a productive gain for McGahee Ohio State's linebacker came out of nowhere and went for McGahee's knees... McGahee's cleats had more traction than anyone could have imagined and instead of his leg giving to the push of the linebacker's shoulder pad, it caught firmly in the sod and what gave out was McGahee's knee.....WATCH AT YOUR OWN RISK...

Miami lost the game in a last minute thriller, but that was probably the least of  McGahee's worries that night.... As stated before, Willis McGahee was suppossed to have been high stock in the draft...now with a destroyed knee came all of the questions....would he ever walk normally again? let alone play football, ESPECIALLY would he get to play in the NFL... ? off to work went McGahee and his therapy began....

Right away, reconstructive surgery began, and then the rehab....a few months later and with his rehabilitation not complete, when draft day came around, the Buffalo Bills drafter Willis McGahee with the mentality that his talent lay not on his knees but in his mind and the rest of his physical attributes.....it would be 2 years before McGahee would play in an NFL uniform, it would be even longer before his numbers would reflect the fact that he was IN FACT a superstar....

A few weeks into his "comeback" season, ESPN did an interview with Willis McGahee....all truth be known I didn't even see the whole interview, but the part that I did catch stayed in my mind for a reason that I would not know until recently.....McGahee said some words that were so profound and though I knew that he was being very superficial and matter-of-fact about his answer, the words lay in my mind like a timebomb that would not go off for years to come until recently....

When McGahee was asked what the hardest part of his rehabilitation was McGahee smiled and politely answered....."(paraphrased) well....it wasnt' the fear of coming back...I had the best doctors....it wasn't the fear of not playing in the NFL, I knew I would in some fashion...it wasn't emotional, I had SUCH an outpouring of support... the biggest problem was actually when I started playing again, the pain was unbearable...."....the next words I will NEVER forget...."...when you start to give your hardest effort with the part of you that's been injured the worst, the pain is unbearable....." 

Sometimes you think that all of your issues are resolved and gone...until you finally get in the game and give your hardest effort.........and then your find out if you've really healed or not.....and you ask yourself if this dream is still the dream that you wanted.